I know no-one can tell me what to do but wanna see what people think anyway. When I had my daughter the pregnancy growth hormones made a benign brain tumour I didn't know I had grow and shortly after the birth I had a stroke. It also made me epileptic and suffer from intense headaches. Medication helped this and being young I’ve recovered fully from the stroke. My daughter is now six and I really want another baby - I was an only child and so lonely. I feel like I can't risk my life because I’ve a child who needs me but when we looked into adoption the brain tumour ruled that out. We applied for fostering but the brain tumour made them feel we could only be short term foster parents and giving the child back would be unbearable. I could come off the medication and live with the pain in my head and try for another baby but no neurologist can tell me what would happen. I feel so torn and don't know what to do. No-one can make the decision for me but I’m hoping someone might relate cos tonight I feel so low.
Answer: I think you're definitely thinking about things the right way,because the daughter you have only has one mommy,and you're it. You're definitely thinking the right way with all of that,and assessing the risks associated with another pregnancy,and what it might have happen. I'd state in all honesty,you'd probably do pretty good to speak this out with a counselor,and you've always got to keep in mind “if having this baby kills me,NEITHER kid has a mother anymore” meaning that you could very well have the baby,and it could be detrimental to you,and it could either impair you greatly or kill you,and then you'd have TWO kids without a mom,so you definitely need to consider that too. I”m sorry,I can't comprehend where you're coming from,but I'm very sorry that you've been handed this much to deal with. Good luck with whatever decision you come to,but I do seriously advocate a counselor or someone to speak this out with. I'm not a counselor,but feel free to email me at any point if you just need to talk/vent. I definitely see what some of the other users are saying,seriously,a mother is one of the most important people a girl will have in her life,and taking that away from your daughter just to give her another sibling might not be the right choice to make.
Answer: you're welcome
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Answer: wow I can't believe that pregnancy hormnones can do all that to a woman's body and in particular your case. How sad. I wanted to experience child birth at least once like my mother told me (she wants a grandkid or two) so but with all that I've been through….I WANT to do this but it May sadly not be
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Answer: an option for me either.
See, I battled a slight drug addiction when I was 21 and I don't know and I'm pretty scared that if I got married, had a boyfriend, and we start to try conceive it would be sort of hazardous? Oh DEAR GOD I surely hope not, otherwise that dream of mine, can just absolutely
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Answer: vanish. And I really don't know if I could take that! I already have failed at some rela….I really don't want to consider this! :*( I have nothing but the best of hope fo you!!!!! And this sh*t make me so angry I can’t even type coherently no more. !=(
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Answer: wow! thats a lot for someone to take in. I really hoope that you select your daughter over your own needs. I’m sure that she would much rather have a mother then no mom. Sounds very serious and good luck to you!
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Answer: Your daughter needs her mummy so you have to think of her. I was an only child too and I was never lonely, each child reacts to the situation differently. Just let her have her friends over and maybe get some pets like a cat or a dog- something affectionate. I know it's not the same but having another baby isn’t worth the risk.
Blessings for you and your family.
Answer: i cant relate but i can tell you, if you die by having another baby surely you putting so much stress and pressure on your partner by leaving him with the new born and other child, and then that kid has to grow up with all his/her friends speaking about mummy and daddy and all they have is daddy? its a bit selfish dont ya think? ( not trying to be aggressive, just objective)
Answer: Ask yourself what would be worse for your daughter. Growing up as an only child, or growing up without a mom? This should be a no-brainer.
Answer: dont, siblings may sound fun at 1st but its a nightmare later
Answer: baby sit for new moms
Answer: Would you rather your daughter was lonely and didn't have a mom? You could die before you even have the baby and it die too. Think about the child you already have. She will be fine as an only child, if you give her the opportunity to have lots of friends. But she won't be fine without her mama.
I state don't do it.
Answer: First thing you need to do is speak to a professional. Second, what good will you be to your child if you’re in pain, sick and possibly in the hospital? There are schools and daycare you could see if they are looking for volunteers, some hospitals even have moms sit w babies who are patients( non serious) of course. I know this seems care about it would make you feel worse but it could be the self therapy you need.
I can't speak from experience, but I do know if it happened before, it's going to happen again. Have you considered a surrogate? Please enjoy your daughter, she may be an only child, but she doesn't have to feel lonely like you did. There are plenty of outside activities she could join. Your health is most important right now as is your daughter's. I'm sorry you feel this way but please, the sooner you speak w some one, the superior you’ll feel. First and foremost your energy needs to be on you and your family.
Answer: Sorry, but I call BS on why you can't adopt. If you were a fit parent, no agency in the world would deny you because you have a BENIGN (not cancerous) tumor. Sorry, but obviously there’s some other reason you were denied and you aren't sharing that reason here.
Answer: adopt
Answer: what sammy stated
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